7 Steps on How to Save a Relationship
Jim works long hours and Lisbet doesn’t feel he is there for her. Lisbet spends all of her time meeting the children’s needs and Jim feels that she doesn’t have time for his needs? Can this relationship be saved? Should it be saved? Here’s how to save a relationship.
First, you must decide whether the relationship is worth saving. While almost every relationship can be saved with hard work, both parties must decide that they want to make it work. Because if a partner has opted out and doesn’t want to opt back in, there is little that can be done.Many people stay in a relationship because it is convenient or remain in a marriage because of the children. But that is not enough. How to save a relationship starts with a commitment by both parties that the relationship is worth saving.Next, you must pinpoint the problem or problems in a relationship.
One of the biggest problems in how to save a relationship is that people believe the symptoms of the problem are the problem itself. For instance, many people think an affair is a problem that causes break ups. In truth, the affair is a symptom of a deeper problem.
For instance, a lack of true intimacy can lead to a straying spouse. While most people look at the affair as the problem, the underlying cause of the affair was the lack of intimacy in the primary relationship. If you do not deal with the lack of intimacy, you might be able to keep another affair from starting through the use of guilt, but another problem (for instance pornography) could pop up because you haven’t dealt with the core issue.When you start to deal with core issues rather than symptoms, you can save the relationship.
Once you have identified the core problems, you can begin to share your thoughts. This means both verbalizing your own feelings and listening to your partner’s concerns. Hold your partner’s hand when you are talking about your problems as a signal that you want to reconnect even when your emotions are swirling. When your partner talks about things that hurt you remember that he or she is not doing it because he or she wants to hurt you.
Rather it is because they want to improve the relationship.Once you have detailed the problems in your relationship, create an action plan to solve them. Then, take concrete steps on your action plan. If you don’t spend time together like you used to, plan a date night every week. Take turns coming up with creative ways to spend an evening together each Wednesday.
If not communicating is the problem, commit to spending 20 minutes before going to bed just talking to one another. And, then do it.Finally, you should realize that saving a relationship is an ongoing process. You are going to take two steps forward only to take one step back. There is going to be both laughter and tears going forward. Be quick to apologize and slow to blame. Is your relationship worth saving? If so, I’ve described in this article how to save a relationship.
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Friday, 13 February 2009
getting ex girlfriend back
getting ex girlfriend back
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Hi,Are there 'magic' words you can useto get your ex to return your phone calls?Sounds implausible but there ARE wordsthat will nearly cast a spell and make your exfeel almost obliged to return your call.Cool huh?...I am going to share this with you becausethis is one of the biggest questions I getfrom the over 35,000 subscribers justlike you that are trying to mend their relationshipSo I am going to answer..."How do I getmy ex to return my phone call, text or IM?"BUT...***********WARNING!***********In the Magic Of Making Up, I layout a complete strategy.http://gazzbizzle.makingup.hop.clickbank.netIf you use this technique alone, withoutan 'overall' strategy...you maydamage your relationship more than ifthey never returned your call.****************What NOT to Say!****************Before we get into the actual words, let'sgo over what message almost NEVERworks.and worse...Puts you in a terrible 'psychological' position.These usually fall into 2 categories.The PLEAD- Where the message sounds like"Frank, please, please call me. This is the 3rdtime I have called. I HAVE to talk to you."And the EMERGENCY-"Candy, this is an emergency. Please call meas soon as you get this."Now, I think you can see what is wrong withboth of those strategies?So, I won't go on and on...************************************How To Use Curiosity & Self InterestTo Your Advantage***********************************Two of the most powerful forces inthe human mind are*Curiosity &*Self InterestAnd here's the KEY SECRET!When you combine the two, youhave a recipe that WILL work 'magic'So...Let's look at what you can saythat works nearly EVERY TIME.In a friendly tone:"Hi Frank. It's Candy. I wanted to letyou know I appreciate what you did forme. Call me because I want to thank youin person."Do you see how that uses BOTH curiosityand self interest?Frank will NOT be able to resist! "What did I do?""What does she appreciate?" he will be thinking. Andhe feels good because it is a positive message.Now...Before you call you need to do the"Set Up"...which is figuring out whathe/she did that you appreciate.It can be any littlel thing...but it needs tobe plausible.But even more importantly...************2nd WARNING!************Please have an underlying strategylike I lay out in the Magic Of MakingUp System BEFORE you call.http://gazzbizzle.makingup.hop.clickbank.netIf you apply this technique withno underlying strategy and theycall you back you can do moreDAMAGE than good if you do nothandle it properly.Ok?So what I am saying is...What you do before, during andafter you get them to return yourcall is MORE important than gettingthem to return your call.Comprendez?Have a PLAN!
getting ex girlfriend back
http://gazzbizzle.makingup.hop.clickbank.net
see my squidoo lens at http://www.squidoo.com/exreturnyourcall
........................................
Hi,Are there 'magic' words you can useto get your ex to return your phone calls?Sounds implausible but there ARE wordsthat will nearly cast a spell and make your exfeel almost obliged to return your call.Cool huh?...I am going to share this with you becausethis is one of the biggest questions I getfrom the over 35,000 subscribers justlike you that are trying to mend their relationshipSo I am going to answer..."How do I getmy ex to return my phone call, text or IM?"BUT...***********WARNING!***********In the Magic Of Making Up, I layout a complete strategy.http://gazzbizzle.makingup.hop.clickbank.netIf you use this technique alone, withoutan 'overall' strategy...you maydamage your relationship more than ifthey never returned your call.****************What NOT to Say!****************Before we get into the actual words, let'sgo over what message almost NEVERworks.and worse...Puts you in a terrible 'psychological' position.These usually fall into 2 categories.The PLEAD- Where the message sounds like"Frank, please, please call me. This is the 3rdtime I have called. I HAVE to talk to you."And the EMERGENCY-"Candy, this is an emergency. Please call meas soon as you get this."Now, I think you can see what is wrong withboth of those strategies?So, I won't go on and on...************************************How To Use Curiosity & Self InterestTo Your Advantage***********************************Two of the most powerful forces inthe human mind are*Curiosity &*Self InterestAnd here's the KEY SECRET!When you combine the two, youhave a recipe that WILL work 'magic'So...Let's look at what you can saythat works nearly EVERY TIME.In a friendly tone:"Hi Frank. It's Candy. I wanted to letyou know I appreciate what you did forme. Call me because I want to thank youin person."Do you see how that uses BOTH curiosityand self interest?Frank will NOT be able to resist! "What did I do?""What does she appreciate?" he will be thinking. Andhe feels good because it is a positive message.Now...Before you call you need to do the"Set Up"...which is figuring out whathe/she did that you appreciate.It can be any littlel thing...but it needs tobe plausible.But even more importantly...************2nd WARNING!************Please have an underlying strategylike I lay out in the Magic Of MakingUp System BEFORE you call.http://gazzbizzle.makingup.hop.clickbank.netIf you apply this technique withno underlying strategy and theycall you back you can do moreDAMAGE than good if you do nothandle it properly.Ok?So what I am saying is...What you do before, during andafter you get them to return yourcall is MORE important than gettingthem to return your call.Comprendez?Have a PLAN!
getting ex girlfriend back
http://gazzbizzle.makingup.hop.clickbank.net
see my squidoo lens at http://www.squidoo.com/exreturnyourcall
Thursday, 12 February 2009
Relationship Advice for Men Look at Evolution to Find a Mate
What is the best relationship advice for men? What should men know if they want a relationship to work for the long haul?Probably the single biggest piece of relationship advice for men is to stop listening to what women say they want and start observing what women actually display that they want.How do they display what they want? It is as simple as observing what kind of men they choose. Women say “I want a man who listens to me.” They choose the man who dominates the conversation. Women say, “I want a guy with a good sense of humor.” They date the guy who has money.Why do women say they want one thing but actually go out with a guy who is just the opposite? The answer to that question lies in the subconscious motivators for getting together. And, therein lies my relationship advice for men.The historical, biological reason for men and women to get together is to propagate the species. In other words, just because getting pregnant may be the last thing on her conscious mind, when she evaluates a man at the subconscious level, she’s still looking for a good papa for her children.Is the good dad someone who listens to her? No, it is someone who will provide for her children. And, the person who can provide for her children is someone who has the confidence to bring home the bacon.Women need men who can be good providers. While a man can produce thousands of sperm on repeated occasions throughout their adult lives, even into their 90’s, women have about 400 chances of producing a baby. As a result, they are looking for a man who can provide longevity and stability for their babies.A man who tells a women he is a lawyer and not a paralegal will have a better chance of landing her. That is because she perceives that a lawyer is a better provider for her future children. But having a good income is not enough. A woman needs to perceive that a man is generous with his resources and will provide for her children. That is why women place such a high value on gifts such as jewelry. It may also be why the engagement ring must be such a large purchase. When you ask a woman to marry you, you give her a ring, not just because it is traditional and romantic, but because it is a tangible display that you can provide for her and her children.Further, even though modern humans make money more from their brains than their brawn, women are still programmed to think of strength equaling the ability to provide. That’s why, even when there is evidence to the contrary in the form of a tax return, the woman is hardwired to choose the lineman over the computer geek.So, the biggest piece of relationship advice for men is to figure out what women need from an evolutionary point of view and give it to her.
Relationship Advice for Men Look at Evolution to Find a Mate
What is the best relationship advice for men? What should men know if they want a relationship to work for the long haul?Probably the single biggest piece of relationship advice for men is to stop listening to what women say they want and start observing what women actually display that they want.How do they display what they want? It is as simple as observing what kind of men they choose. Women say “I want a man who listens to me.” They choose the man who dominates the conversation. Women say, “I want a guy with a good sense of humor.” They date the guy who has money.Why do women say they want one thing but actually go out with a guy who is just the opposite? The answer to that question lies in the subconscious motivators for getting together. And, therein lies my relationship advice for men.The historical, biological reason for men and women to get together is to propagate the species. In other words, just because getting pregnant may be the last thing on her conscious mind, when she evaluates a man at the subconscious level, she’s still looking for a good papa for her children.Is the good dad someone who listens to her? No, it is someone who will provide for her children. And, the person who can provide for her children is someone who has the confidence to bring home the bacon.Women need men who can be good providers. While a man can produce thousands of sperm on repeated occasions throughout their adult lives, even into their 90’s, women have about 400 chances of producing a baby. As a result, they are looking for a man who can provide longevity and stability for their babies.A man who tells a women he is a lawyer and not a paralegal will have a better chance of landing her. That is because she perceives that a lawyer is a better provider for her future children. But having a good income is not enough. A woman needs to perceive that a man is generous with his resources and will provide for her children. That is why women place such a high value on gifts such as jewelry. It may also be why the engagement ring must be such a large purchase. When you ask a woman to marry you, you give her a ring, not just because it is traditional and romantic, but because it is a tangible display that you can provide for her and her children.Further, even though modern humans make money more from their brains than their brawn, women are still programmed to think of strength equaling the ability to provide. That’s why, even when there is evidence to the contrary in the form of a tax return, the woman is hardwired to choose the lineman over the computer geek.So, the biggest piece of relationship advice for men is to figure out what women need from an evolutionary point of view and give it to her.
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