Many people are extremely alarmed to look for seek out the help of a therapist. One of the reasons for this reticence s that theyre not sure what to expect. That is why I have written this article; to advise you of the common marriage counseling questions that you will be encounter
As humans, we have a inclination to not question the things that we should be questioning. For example, is it possible that you may not really have taken the time you should have done to get to the bottom of what the problem actually is in your marriage in the 1st place?
A good proportion of us think that we have, but it turns out we really haven't. We only see the outward materialization of the bigger problem. For example, chances are you aren't going crazy every time your husband leaves the toilet seat up just because that is such a big issue.
More than likely your reaction is more basic, more primal. Every time he leaves the toilet seat up you view it as a lack of consideration for you and your feelings. This perceived lack of consideration that you sense from your husband is the real issue, not the toilet seat. Make sense?
That is what the marriage counseling questions are all about. It is crucial that the counselor get to the nub of the problems, the real issues. If you don't really know what it is yourself, how can you tell the counselor and how can they help you work on it?
So, here are some frequently asked questions that many counselors will ask you and your partner to answer in your own words:
1. What are the problems or issues that made you decide to go to counseling? This question will be asked of both partners. If you listen you may just be astonished at how diverse your understandings of the problems in your marriage and your spouses perceptions of the challenges are.
This will provide the therapist with a starting point. They will understand what each of you see as the problem as well as see where the two of you are deviating in your opinions of what the problems are.
2. Which one of these issues do you see as the most crucial? This will allow the counselor to work out what you consider to be the most difficult issue to overcome. This knowledge will make it easier for them to focus in on those issues.
Instead of taking a lot of time wandering around in the dark, the counselor will have a much improved idea of what both of you see as the issue(s) that are ripping your marriage asunder.
Once they know where to focus their attention, they may be able to help you start locating possible solutions much more efficiently.
Now that you know what common questions you are likely to be asked by your therapist, you can take some time to think about the issues in more depth.
Doing that will make it easier for you to accurately answer the questions when the counselor asks them. That can save you all a little time.
So, take some time and figure out how you would answer these common marriage counseling questions now.
FOR MORE DETAILS AND ADVICE GO TO
http://gazzbizzle.makingup.hop.clickbank.net
Monday, 12 December 2011
Friday, 13 February 2009
7 Steps on How to Save a Relationship
7 Steps on How to Save a Relationship
Jim works long hours and Lisbet doesn’t feel he is there for her. Lisbet spends all of her time meeting the children’s needs and Jim feels that she doesn’t have time for his needs? Can this relationship be saved? Should it be saved? Here’s how to save a relationship.
First, you must decide whether the relationship is worth saving. While almost every relationship can be saved with hard work, both parties must decide that they want to make it work. Because if a partner has opted out and doesn’t want to opt back in, there is little that can be done.Many people stay in a relationship because it is convenient or remain in a marriage because of the children. But that is not enough. How to save a relationship starts with a commitment by both parties that the relationship is worth saving.Next, you must pinpoint the problem or problems in a relationship.
One of the biggest problems in how to save a relationship is that people believe the symptoms of the problem are the problem itself. For instance, many people think an affair is a problem that causes break ups. In truth, the affair is a symptom of a deeper problem.
For instance, a lack of true intimacy can lead to a straying spouse. While most people look at the affair as the problem, the underlying cause of the affair was the lack of intimacy in the primary relationship. If you do not deal with the lack of intimacy, you might be able to keep another affair from starting through the use of guilt, but another problem (for instance pornography) could pop up because you haven’t dealt with the core issue.When you start to deal with core issues rather than symptoms, you can save the relationship.
Once you have identified the core problems, you can begin to share your thoughts. This means both verbalizing your own feelings and listening to your partner’s concerns. Hold your partner’s hand when you are talking about your problems as a signal that you want to reconnect even when your emotions are swirling. When your partner talks about things that hurt you remember that he or she is not doing it because he or she wants to hurt you.
Rather it is because they want to improve the relationship.Once you have detailed the problems in your relationship, create an action plan to solve them. Then, take concrete steps on your action plan. If you don’t spend time together like you used to, plan a date night every week. Take turns coming up with creative ways to spend an evening together each Wednesday.
If not communicating is the problem, commit to spending 20 minutes before going to bed just talking to one another. And, then do it.Finally, you should realize that saving a relationship is an ongoing process. You are going to take two steps forward only to take one step back. There is going to be both laughter and tears going forward. Be quick to apologize and slow to blame. Is your relationship worth saving? If so, I’ve described in this article how to save a relationship.
http://gazzbizzle.makingup.hop.clickbank.net
Jim works long hours and Lisbet doesn’t feel he is there for her. Lisbet spends all of her time meeting the children’s needs and Jim feels that she doesn’t have time for his needs? Can this relationship be saved? Should it be saved? Here’s how to save a relationship.
First, you must decide whether the relationship is worth saving. While almost every relationship can be saved with hard work, both parties must decide that they want to make it work. Because if a partner has opted out and doesn’t want to opt back in, there is little that can be done.Many people stay in a relationship because it is convenient or remain in a marriage because of the children. But that is not enough. How to save a relationship starts with a commitment by both parties that the relationship is worth saving.Next, you must pinpoint the problem or problems in a relationship.
One of the biggest problems in how to save a relationship is that people believe the symptoms of the problem are the problem itself. For instance, many people think an affair is a problem that causes break ups. In truth, the affair is a symptom of a deeper problem.
For instance, a lack of true intimacy can lead to a straying spouse. While most people look at the affair as the problem, the underlying cause of the affair was the lack of intimacy in the primary relationship. If you do not deal with the lack of intimacy, you might be able to keep another affair from starting through the use of guilt, but another problem (for instance pornography) could pop up because you haven’t dealt with the core issue.When you start to deal with core issues rather than symptoms, you can save the relationship.
Once you have identified the core problems, you can begin to share your thoughts. This means both verbalizing your own feelings and listening to your partner’s concerns. Hold your partner’s hand when you are talking about your problems as a signal that you want to reconnect even when your emotions are swirling. When your partner talks about things that hurt you remember that he or she is not doing it because he or she wants to hurt you.
Rather it is because they want to improve the relationship.Once you have detailed the problems in your relationship, create an action plan to solve them. Then, take concrete steps on your action plan. If you don’t spend time together like you used to, plan a date night every week. Take turns coming up with creative ways to spend an evening together each Wednesday.
If not communicating is the problem, commit to spending 20 minutes before going to bed just talking to one another. And, then do it.Finally, you should realize that saving a relationship is an ongoing process. You are going to take two steps forward only to take one step back. There is going to be both laughter and tears going forward. Be quick to apologize and slow to blame. Is your relationship worth saving? If so, I’ve described in this article how to save a relationship.
http://gazzbizzle.makingup.hop.clickbank.net
getting ex girlfriend back
getting ex girlfriend back
........................................
Hi,Are there 'magic' words you can useto get your ex to return your phone calls?Sounds implausible but there ARE wordsthat will nearly cast a spell and make your exfeel almost obliged to return your call.Cool huh?...I am going to share this with you becausethis is one of the biggest questions I getfrom the over 35,000 subscribers justlike you that are trying to mend their relationshipSo I am going to answer..."How do I getmy ex to return my phone call, text or IM?"BUT...***********WARNING!***********In the Magic Of Making Up, I layout a complete strategy.http://gazzbizzle.makingup.hop.clickbank.netIf you use this technique alone, withoutan 'overall' strategy...you maydamage your relationship more than ifthey never returned your call.****************What NOT to Say!****************Before we get into the actual words, let'sgo over what message almost NEVERworks.and worse...Puts you in a terrible 'psychological' position.These usually fall into 2 categories.The PLEAD- Where the message sounds like"Frank, please, please call me. This is the 3rdtime I have called. I HAVE to talk to you."And the EMERGENCY-"Candy, this is an emergency. Please call meas soon as you get this."Now, I think you can see what is wrong withboth of those strategies?So, I won't go on and on...************************************How To Use Curiosity & Self InterestTo Your Advantage***********************************Two of the most powerful forces inthe human mind are*Curiosity &*Self InterestAnd here's the KEY SECRET!When you combine the two, youhave a recipe that WILL work 'magic'So...Let's look at what you can saythat works nearly EVERY TIME.In a friendly tone:"Hi Frank. It's Candy. I wanted to letyou know I appreciate what you did forme. Call me because I want to thank youin person."Do you see how that uses BOTH curiosityand self interest?Frank will NOT be able to resist! "What did I do?""What does she appreciate?" he will be thinking. Andhe feels good because it is a positive message.Now...Before you call you need to do the"Set Up"...which is figuring out whathe/she did that you appreciate.It can be any littlel thing...but it needs tobe plausible.But even more importantly...************2nd WARNING!************Please have an underlying strategylike I lay out in the Magic Of MakingUp System BEFORE you call.http://gazzbizzle.makingup.hop.clickbank.netIf you apply this technique withno underlying strategy and theycall you back you can do moreDAMAGE than good if you do nothandle it properly.Ok?So what I am saying is...What you do before, during andafter you get them to return yourcall is MORE important than gettingthem to return your call.Comprendez?Have a PLAN!
getting ex girlfriend back
http://gazzbizzle.makingup.hop.clickbank.net
see my squidoo lens at http://www.squidoo.com/exreturnyourcall
........................................
Hi,Are there 'magic' words you can useto get your ex to return your phone calls?Sounds implausible but there ARE wordsthat will nearly cast a spell and make your exfeel almost obliged to return your call.Cool huh?...I am going to share this with you becausethis is one of the biggest questions I getfrom the over 35,000 subscribers justlike you that are trying to mend their relationshipSo I am going to answer..."How do I getmy ex to return my phone call, text or IM?"BUT...***********WARNING!***********In the Magic Of Making Up, I layout a complete strategy.http://gazzbizzle.makingup.hop.clickbank.netIf you use this technique alone, withoutan 'overall' strategy...you maydamage your relationship more than ifthey never returned your call.****************What NOT to Say!****************Before we get into the actual words, let'sgo over what message almost NEVERworks.and worse...Puts you in a terrible 'psychological' position.These usually fall into 2 categories.The PLEAD- Where the message sounds like"Frank, please, please call me. This is the 3rdtime I have called. I HAVE to talk to you."And the EMERGENCY-"Candy, this is an emergency. Please call meas soon as you get this."Now, I think you can see what is wrong withboth of those strategies?So, I won't go on and on...************************************How To Use Curiosity & Self InterestTo Your Advantage***********************************Two of the most powerful forces inthe human mind are*Curiosity &*Self InterestAnd here's the KEY SECRET!When you combine the two, youhave a recipe that WILL work 'magic'So...Let's look at what you can saythat works nearly EVERY TIME.In a friendly tone:"Hi Frank. It's Candy. I wanted to letyou know I appreciate what you did forme. Call me because I want to thank youin person."Do you see how that uses BOTH curiosityand self interest?Frank will NOT be able to resist! "What did I do?""What does she appreciate?" he will be thinking. Andhe feels good because it is a positive message.Now...Before you call you need to do the"Set Up"...which is figuring out whathe/she did that you appreciate.It can be any littlel thing...but it needs tobe plausible.But even more importantly...************2nd WARNING!************Please have an underlying strategylike I lay out in the Magic Of MakingUp System BEFORE you call.http://gazzbizzle.makingup.hop.clickbank.netIf you apply this technique withno underlying strategy and theycall you back you can do moreDAMAGE than good if you do nothandle it properly.Ok?So what I am saying is...What you do before, during andafter you get them to return yourcall is MORE important than gettingthem to return your call.Comprendez?Have a PLAN!
getting ex girlfriend back
http://gazzbizzle.makingup.hop.clickbank.net
see my squidoo lens at http://www.squidoo.com/exreturnyourcall
Thursday, 12 February 2009
Relationship Advice for Men Look at Evolution to Find a Mate
What is the best relationship advice for men? What should men know if they want a relationship to work for the long haul?Probably the single biggest piece of relationship advice for men is to stop listening to what women say they want and start observing what women actually display that they want.How do they display what they want? It is as simple as observing what kind of men they choose. Women say “I want a man who listens to me.” They choose the man who dominates the conversation. Women say, “I want a guy with a good sense of humor.” They date the guy who has money.Why do women say they want one thing but actually go out with a guy who is just the opposite? The answer to that question lies in the subconscious motivators for getting together. And, therein lies my relationship advice for men.The historical, biological reason for men and women to get together is to propagate the species. In other words, just because getting pregnant may be the last thing on her conscious mind, when she evaluates a man at the subconscious level, she’s still looking for a good papa for her children.Is the good dad someone who listens to her? No, it is someone who will provide for her children. And, the person who can provide for her children is someone who has the confidence to bring home the bacon.Women need men who can be good providers. While a man can produce thousands of sperm on repeated occasions throughout their adult lives, even into their 90’s, women have about 400 chances of producing a baby. As a result, they are looking for a man who can provide longevity and stability for their babies.A man who tells a women he is a lawyer and not a paralegal will have a better chance of landing her. That is because she perceives that a lawyer is a better provider for her future children. But having a good income is not enough. A woman needs to perceive that a man is generous with his resources and will provide for her children. That is why women place such a high value on gifts such as jewelry. It may also be why the engagement ring must be such a large purchase. When you ask a woman to marry you, you give her a ring, not just because it is traditional and romantic, but because it is a tangible display that you can provide for her and her children.Further, even though modern humans make money more from their brains than their brawn, women are still programmed to think of strength equaling the ability to provide. That’s why, even when there is evidence to the contrary in the form of a tax return, the woman is hardwired to choose the lineman over the computer geek.So, the biggest piece of relationship advice for men is to figure out what women need from an evolutionary point of view and give it to her.
Relationship Advice for Men Look at Evolution to Find a Mate
What is the best relationship advice for men? What should men know if they want a relationship to work for the long haul?Probably the single biggest piece of relationship advice for men is to stop listening to what women say they want and start observing what women actually display that they want.How do they display what they want? It is as simple as observing what kind of men they choose. Women say “I want a man who listens to me.” They choose the man who dominates the conversation. Women say, “I want a guy with a good sense of humor.” They date the guy who has money.Why do women say they want one thing but actually go out with a guy who is just the opposite? The answer to that question lies in the subconscious motivators for getting together. And, therein lies my relationship advice for men.The historical, biological reason for men and women to get together is to propagate the species. In other words, just because getting pregnant may be the last thing on her conscious mind, when she evaluates a man at the subconscious level, she’s still looking for a good papa for her children.Is the good dad someone who listens to her? No, it is someone who will provide for her children. And, the person who can provide for her children is someone who has the confidence to bring home the bacon.Women need men who can be good providers. While a man can produce thousands of sperm on repeated occasions throughout their adult lives, even into their 90’s, women have about 400 chances of producing a baby. As a result, they are looking for a man who can provide longevity and stability for their babies.A man who tells a women he is a lawyer and not a paralegal will have a better chance of landing her. That is because she perceives that a lawyer is a better provider for her future children. But having a good income is not enough. A woman needs to perceive that a man is generous with his resources and will provide for her children. That is why women place such a high value on gifts such as jewelry. It may also be why the engagement ring must be such a large purchase. When you ask a woman to marry you, you give her a ring, not just because it is traditional and romantic, but because it is a tangible display that you can provide for her and her children.Further, even though modern humans make money more from their brains than their brawn, women are still programmed to think of strength equaling the ability to provide. That’s why, even when there is evidence to the contrary in the form of a tax return, the woman is hardwired to choose the lineman over the computer geek.So, the biggest piece of relationship advice for men is to figure out what women need from an evolutionary point of view and give it to her.
Friday, 30 January 2009
can i get my ex girlfriend back?
If you’re considering, “How can I get my ex girlfriend back?” then the split-up probably wasn’t so awful that you think the relationship cannot be saved. You’ll have to hope she reciprocates. If any pain was caused during the split that you should apologize for, now’s the time to apologise. Being sorry and truly showing it is a good first step.
Can I get my ex girlfriend back by showing the sensitive side of me?
Well, there’s no guarantee you’ll get back together, but the odds are more in your favor when you do things properly.Demonstrate to her how much you miss her being around, and how sorry you are. Just pay attention to what she does. If your gestures of contriteness only irritate her—ie. she throws away the roses or something like that—change your strategy until you find that pushes her buttons.
If flowers or cards annoy her, for example, maybe that’s bdue to the fact thats it’s too easy to pick up the phone and order flowers or buy a card someone else wrote. Try putting yourself in her position and try to work out something more appealing.For instance buy a blank card and write your own poem in it. It doesn’t have to rhyme, in fact it’s better if it doesn’t. Try to express yourself as to truly how you feel.Or pick flowers and present her with a bouquet you put together yourself.
A common complaint from women is that men aren’t considerate enough. Were you thoughtful during the relationship? Now you might be wondering, can I get my ex girlfriend back by being considerate? Maybe not, but it’s one more way toward your goal of getting back with her. Every positive thing stacks up, making it substantially easier for her to return to you. Don’t expect it to happen immediatly though.
If you spent your relationship rarely doing considerate things, or you only did them at the start, she’ll probably not believe the things your doing now.Just hang in there and be patient, and keep up your efforts. Don’t look worried or annoyed. Do the thoughtful things as its a good feeling to make her happy, not because you’re working to a plan.
Can I get my ex girlfriend back by seeing another woman?
If it’s been a lsignificant amount of time since the split-up, and you’re still working on being considerate, a casual date seems harmless and may make her wish she was your date, but go too far and it could backfire on you
Can I get my ex girlfriend back if she has now got another boyfriend?
The odds are stacked against you here, but if you can demonstrate to her that she’ll be more content with you than the new guy then you’ll have a good chance. Being considerate will take you a long way forward toward showing her that. Even if it seems hopeless, don’t give in.
If it looks likes she’s moved on, still send her a card you wrote just wishing her a great day. But don’t look as if you have any expectations. Your thoughtfulness might really get to her.
Another thing the points made above, are only just one step in the process of getting your true love back. The crucial thing is to have a detailed step by step plan that will lpropel you in your heartfelt pursuit!!
If you think shes worth it you will be helped by these steps to drive you on and get her back.
http://gazzbizzle.makingup.hop.clickbank.net/?tid=track
Can I get my ex girlfriend back by showing the sensitive side of me?
Well, there’s no guarantee you’ll get back together, but the odds are more in your favor when you do things properly.Demonstrate to her how much you miss her being around, and how sorry you are. Just pay attention to what she does. If your gestures of contriteness only irritate her—ie. she throws away the roses or something like that—change your strategy until you find that pushes her buttons.
If flowers or cards annoy her, for example, maybe that’s bdue to the fact thats it’s too easy to pick up the phone and order flowers or buy a card someone else wrote. Try putting yourself in her position and try to work out something more appealing.For instance buy a blank card and write your own poem in it. It doesn’t have to rhyme, in fact it’s better if it doesn’t. Try to express yourself as to truly how you feel.Or pick flowers and present her with a bouquet you put together yourself.
A common complaint from women is that men aren’t considerate enough. Were you thoughtful during the relationship? Now you might be wondering, can I get my ex girlfriend back by being considerate? Maybe not, but it’s one more way toward your goal of getting back with her. Every positive thing stacks up, making it substantially easier for her to return to you. Don’t expect it to happen immediatly though.
If you spent your relationship rarely doing considerate things, or you only did them at the start, she’ll probably not believe the things your doing now.Just hang in there and be patient, and keep up your efforts. Don’t look worried or annoyed. Do the thoughtful things as its a good feeling to make her happy, not because you’re working to a plan.
Can I get my ex girlfriend back by seeing another woman?
If it’s been a lsignificant amount of time since the split-up, and you’re still working on being considerate, a casual date seems harmless and may make her wish she was your date, but go too far and it could backfire on you
Can I get my ex girlfriend back if she has now got another boyfriend?
The odds are stacked against you here, but if you can demonstrate to her that she’ll be more content with you than the new guy then you’ll have a good chance. Being considerate will take you a long way forward toward showing her that. Even if it seems hopeless, don’t give in.
If it looks likes she’s moved on, still send her a card you wrote just wishing her a great day. But don’t look as if you have any expectations. Your thoughtfulness might really get to her.
Another thing the points made above, are only just one step in the process of getting your true love back. The crucial thing is to have a detailed step by step plan that will lpropel you in your heartfelt pursuit!!
If you think shes worth it you will be helped by these steps to drive you on and get her back.
http://gazzbizzle.makingup.hop.clickbank.net/?tid=track
Monday, 26 January 2009
Hi there its Gary here from the Magic of Making Up Can you learn anything from being robbed at gunpoint? As TW Jackson explains in the Magic Of Making Up Systemhttp://gazzbizzle.makingup.hop.clickbank.net/?tid=trackafter your initial contact...you want to set up your"1st Date" again. AND...the MOST important part, the secret,the key andthe part nobody else but T Dub will tell ya :-)...is the date HASto be EMOTIONALLY CHARGED. Ok? That DOES NOT mean 'dinner and a movie'. because...well...sorry but it's BORING...and does not create a bonding...or in our case a RE-bondingexperience. In fact, you want to pack in several emotionallycharged mini-dates in a span of a couple hours. Why? If you just do 'dinner and a movie' you loseout on a Sociologically PROVEN principle... emotionally charged experiences = bond Look at it in another way. Last time you went to the bank, do youremember the person in the line in front of you? Behind you? Probably not. Me neither. But... What if while you were in the bank, itwas ROBBED AT GUNPOINT? and the robbers couldn't get the safe open. Therobbers are livid, screaming and waving huge gunsaround. The tension feels so thick you couldcut through it with a knife. You are lying face down on the cold bank floorand can see your breath fogging up the tile below. You are trembling...because it is eerily silentfor a moment. "Oh my god!" "Where are the robbers?" "Are they behind me?" "Are they watching me?" So you slowly move your eyes around andsee a sweet older lady lying right next to you. She looks a little like your sweet Grandma, and you comeout of your own terror enough to realize that sheis even more terrified than you. She is softly sobbing. You slowly reach out and take her hand in yoursand give her a little squeeze that says..."it's gonnabe all right." NOW! Let me ask? Are you going to EVER forget that older lady? and... Do you think she will EVER forget you? Not in a million Sundays! Now...I'm not saying to go rob a bank onyour first date! LOL. But you want to go on an EMOTIONALLYcharged and exciting date...and preferably severalmini-dates in a span of a couple hours. A short roller coaster ride is one GREAT example.T Dub teaches you more about things like emotionallycharged dates in the Magic Of Making Up System.http://gazzbizzle.makingup.hop.clickbank.net/?tid=trackYou'll also discover psychological tactics and techniquesyou can use to get you BACK on that first date with yourex again. Best Wishes,GaryPS Get a special unannounced bonus called 'Mind Magic'when you reserve your copy of the Magic Of Making UpSystem through this special link:http://gazzbizzle.makingup.hop.clickbank.net/?tid=track
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